My name is Suki. I am 33 years old. I have a six year old son who means the world to me. In Februry we found out we were expecting another baby and was due on the 19.10.10. We were overjoyed, making plans, looking forward to the future. I was 13weeks and 6 days pregnant when on the 19.04.10 both me, my husband and son went to the hospital for our first scan and were told the devestating news that "I'm sorry but the baby does not have a heart beat." Words can not describe how I felt and am still feeling now. Apperently I had a silent/missed miscarriage. The next day I went to hospital to have my 'baby' removed. I don't know how I am supposed to feel, everyone keeps asking are you ok?, are you alright?, yeah i am sometimes but no not really my baby died inside of me and now there is nothing there. I feel empty..angry..resentful..hatred..I go out and look at people in anger as if if its all there fault. I know its not but that is how I feel. I see babies and pregnant women everywhere, I get jealous. I don't know how long I will feel like this, People keep saying you can have another one but I wanted this one. Am I expected to forget about this baby. was it not a life, my life? I hope I do feel better one day but now I am taking one day at a time. I have a beautiful son who I am blessed with and he needs me now more than ever. I will be strong for him, my husband and for the baby I lost 'My Lil Pumkin'. xxx Always in our minds forever in our heartsxxx