Yesterday morning Hi darling, hope you are ok.. I'm going to work today the first time since you left me.. four weeks today... i just dont want to go...... no body apart from family knew you were coming as we were going to tell them after the scan but it didnt work out as we had planned.. I feel like the last four weeks are a big blur, the darkest weeks of my life. I feel like by going back to work I am closing this chapter of my life and you didnt actually exist. I dont want to close this chapter but it feels like it is happening whether i like it or not. No one really talks about you, just are u ok..People keep telling me to get to normality, going back to work will help me take my mind off things and might evan stop my head from hurting. No one from work has actually acknowleged why I have been off they keep saying, are you ok, how u feeling, are u feeling bettter, like i have been off because of flu not because I lost my baby. I know you exist and you will always exist till the day I die. I think about you every day, I dont cry as much as I did before but I dont laugh much either unless I am doing something with Tarrun :-) he still tallks about you and what if you hadn't gone to heaven. I love you .. xxxxx mummy xxx